By Loretta LaRoche
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Well, Iím full of turkey, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, myriad appetizers, lasagna, and slices of ricotta, pecan and Boston cream pie. My goal was not to eat too much on Thanksgiving Day, and I didnít, since my attention was on cooking and serving my guests. However, all promises to myself about being moderate went bye-bye the next day. It was as if I had an internal Pac-Man that needed to be fed over and over. I also could not quell the internal dialogue that kept focusing on telling me to try the leftovers. I found myself walking in the direction of the refrigerator as if I had become part of a zombie cult.
I awoke Saturday, the day after my gluttonous noshing to over-eaterís guilt and a body that felt somewhat analogous to a hot air balloon! Where did all my good intentions go? Obviously they were plucked out of my conscious mind, leaving me hypnotized by the contents of the refrigerator.
This is not the first time I have gone down this path. I have struggled with my weight for the greater part of my life. Ten pounds up, 10 pounds down, 15 pounds up, 15 pounds down, 20 pounds up, 20 pounds down. The cycle keeps repeating itself according. Iíve actually achieved a good weight at times through being incredibly vigilant. Iíve done all the things that the weight-loss police have advocated, portion control, exercise, food diaries, etc. Thereís no doubt that they work, but then something happens, like the birth of my children, divorce, being a caretaker for an elderly parent, earning a living or having health problems. It doesnít have to be a serious problem that precipitates over-eating. It could be going on a vacation or celebrating a holiday.
Iíve tried a plethora of diets, and a lot of them work. However, I really want to have an entourage of individuals that makes sure I donít deviate from my goals. After all, why canít I lose 20 pounds in three weeks like the movie stars that are showcased as models for the rest of us? They have babies and fit into clothes they wore as toddlers right after the baby is born. I look like I never gave birth.
I know some of you are thinking, you can do it, just write your affirmations, stop eating gluten, eat less and walk more. And believe me I havenít given up. But I do accept a certain reality. I will never be sylph-like. I have gained and lost a tribe of people, so there are more of me around that you might recognize. By the way, enjoy your leftovers!
Author, humorist, PBS star and Fortune 500 trainer Loretta LaRoche lives in Plymouth, Massachusetts. To share your pet peeves, questions or comments, write to The Humor Potential, 50 Court St., Plymouth, MA 02360. Visit her website at stressed.com.
Get A Life: Ugh, I ate too much
By Loretta LaRoche